Bio

Alesin T. Tipler Biography

 

 

Timeline of Events

1986 – Born.  That’s right, I’m taking you all the way back to the beginning.  I was a pudgy baby, but I think that’s the way babies come out, right?

1988 – I’d lost most of my baby weight by then.  Plus, I was living in Switzerland at the time.  Galavanting through fields and hiking up mountains does wonders for the waistline.  Or at least that’s what I imagine I was doing.  I have zero recollection of that time.  I was two.

1996 – Other than an unfortunate attempt to sport bangs and my excellent taste in T-shirts, this picture represents me at my childhood best.  Some time after this, I cultivated a lust for Chewy Chips Ahoy and it was downhill from there.

2000 – By my junior high school graduation, the chocolate chip cookie obsession [amid MANY other poor nutritional choices] had pushed me into the overweight category for my age.

2001 – Entry into high school did not help matters.  Shocker, right?  With the stress of a new environment and fitting in and all the nonsense that comes along with the awkward teenage years, I leaned on food to comfort me.

2002 – My junior year of high school, I put EVEN more weight, subsisting on a diet of Taco Bell, Wendy’s, and Bud’s Broiler.  Bud’s Broiler was [is?] a delectable hamburger joint with locations all across New Orleans, one of which was 4 blocks from my high school.  My usual order at Wendy’s was 2 Jr. Cheeseburger Deluxes, 1 or 2 Crispy Chicken Sandwiches, a Sour Cream and Chive Potato, a Value Fries, a small chocolate Frosty and a Value Drink.  Oh, and I asked for extra low-fat sour cream on the potato.  It was low-fat, so it meant I could eat more of it.  So goes the logic of an individual with a complete and utter lack of nutrition knowledge.  Oh, and yep, all choices were made from the Value Menu.  It’s never too early to start saving for… the medical bills that meal would eventually cost me.

2003 – While visiting colleges in order to select my home for the four years following high school, there were an extraordinary number of pictures taken to chronicle the visits.  Somehow I had managed to avoid taking pictures since 8th grade and even barely glanced in a mirror, so viewing the person in the pictures shocked me quite a bit.  I vowed to fix the problem.  Unfortunately, without being armed with ANY amount of knowledge about nutrition [the USDA Food Pyramid DOES NOT count, since it's complete bollocks] I fell victim to various infomercial weight loss schemes and pills, such as Slimfast, Herbalife, and Hydroxycut.

2003, Summer – At my heaviest I was 180lbs and 5’5″.  That put my BMI at 30.  The classification for OBESE is a BMI equal to or greater than 30.

2004 – By the end of high school, I’d managed to get my weight down to 165lbs, producing a modest 27.5 BMI. Yet, I refused to buy clothes that were my size because I could not accept the designation on the clothing tag. Consequently, my clothes look as if they are having difficulty containing my figure.

2004, August – The summer after high school my weight shot back up to around 180lbs. I had gained the customary “new love” pounds after the start of a relationship.

 

 

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